Self-Care Journey Month 16



Holy smokes. It’s May. I can’t believe we’re in the fifth month of 2021. Where has the time gone? I don’t know about all of you, but for me, these past four months have been a roller coaster ride. At the same time, it’s been a huge growth period for me. I’ve gotten so many responses and private message about how well I’ve handled this recent transition in my life. The truth is, I didn’t handle it well at all. In many, many ways, this was worse than the implosion of my 18 year marriage. And that’s because I finally felt the same kind of love I write about. So, to me, this was it.

Only it wasn’t.

Not that I didn’t love my ex-husband. Obviously, I did, or I wouldn’t have married him, had two children, and been together for twenty years. But it was never the kind of love written about in books, or shown on movies/TV. When I did find it, I couldn’t believe I had ever settled for anything less . But life is never that simple.

In January, I moved into an apartment. Not only is it the first time I’ve lived in an apartment, it’s the first time I’ve lived alone. I moved from my parent’s house where I had lived while attending college, to my husband’s after we got married. After the divorce, I had the kids with me. With both of my kids grown and on their own, and my relationship ended, I was looking forward to being alone. I didn’t have to pick up after anyone or any of that mess I’ve been doing since I was 22. It’s just me and Sisko. And it’s been great!

There were days, however, that weren’t great. Finding the creativity to write about a couple in love was impossible some days. Others, it was an escape, and I readily dove into the story. I’d say the first few weeks of February were the worst. But during those two weeks, three truly amazing things happened that helped put me on a path that has helped me move on.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that FB ads work on me. Every damn day. Just ask my bank account. One of these ads was a website called It was an intriguing ad targeted to women in regards to the new month, the moon cycle, and how it fits into our lives. I immediately clicked the link and perused the website for quite some time. In the end, I bought a membership, and it’s one of the BEST things I’ve ever done. Every month I get a Flow with the Moon guide that guides you through the moon phases, and specials are included for each new and full moon to help you dig deeper into your intuition and higher self. It’s filled with so much! In addition, each full and new moon, they do quick tarots based on your sign FREE. On top of that, the website offers tarot readings.

I’ve had several readings in the past, so none of this is new to me. However, the two I’ve had with GAHM have been…extraordinary. These women are exceptional. I was searching, and the universe put them in front of me, and it has been a true blessing. Check out their FB page:

The second thing was another FB ad for a crystal course. I love crystals. Their healing power has been documented for a long time. I’ve always been curious on how to use them, but with so many courses and books to choose from, it has always felt so daunting to me. I didn’t have time to search through all of them to find one that would suit me. Then this ad from Daily Om popped up. I completely forgot that I had bought a couple of courses from a year earlier. I read the description of The Intuitive Crystal Connection and was hooked. The courses are inexpensive, and you can take them at your leisure. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this course! If you’ve wanted to learn about crystals, take this course!! I highly recommend.

The third thing happened when I was scrolling an email for books. I’m not one of those who usually buy non-fiction books. Suddenly, this cover caught my attention. Yet, it was the title that drew me in. You Only Fall in Love Three Times. I never click on books like this. Ever. They’re just not my cup of tea. But something compelled me to click. I read the description, and my heart skipped a beat. Then I got to this part:

The first love, our sole mate
Our soulmate love is someone that we’ve traveled through multiple lifetimes with, but unlike the karmic love or twin flame, there are no major lessons to learn from them specifically and there is not the sharing of those mesmerizing energy ties, the strong feelings of connection. It’s more like coming home to an old friend.

Second love, our karmic love
Karmic love exists to teach us everything we are still trying to avoid. When we meet our second love, our karmic partner, very often we are swept away; we may even experience love at first sight. We fall in love with all of the qualities that we want to see in them. We also tend to fall in love with what we want to see in ourselves, without understanding that we’re only using them as a way to make ourselves feel better—to avoid that hard work of learning who we are.

Third love, our twin flame
Twin flames are highly connected spiritual relationships, the kind of love that we often refer to when we speak about meeting our other half or even The One. This relationship is ultimately destined to not just end with warm nights cuddled up in bed but in us becoming more of the person that we were born to be. It’s the relationship that will lead us back to ourselves.

There are a lot of books on the twin flame subject, and many interuse the soul mate/twin flame words. But I didn’t so much care about what they were called as to what it was about. I immediately bought the ebook and set about reading it in one afternoon. It isn’t a long book, but it is packed with a lot of information I found useful. I was able to determine my ex-husband was my soulmate. I knew when I met him that I’d marry him, even though he my type. The book also helped to show me all the reasons why things didn’t work out.

This last relationship was a karmic love. It fit the author’s profile to a T. It was seeing all of that in black and white (and yes, I realize it’s just one author’s take) that helped my heart to heal. It was love at first sight for me. I knew him, though I’d never met him before. The highs were unbelievably high, and the lows were scraping rock bottom. I still love him. I will always love him. But at our core, there are things we will never get past to be a compatible couple. I recognize this, even if he doesn’t. We’re still friendly. So many people don’t understand that (especially my children) after the things that happened. All I can say is that my intuition told me that it was important we remain friends. Whether that’s to clear up any karma for our next life or what, I don’t know. If you’ve read my previous blogs, you’ll understand why listening to my intuition is vitally important to me.

These three things happened all in one week, within days of each other. I don’t believe in coincidence. My heart and soul were in a very dark place, and I was able to lean on friends/family and these new experiences to pull myself back up again. It takes a long time to be knocked down, and it takes a long time to build yourself back up. But I do it, one day at a time. You can to!

I’ve found such peace and happiness that I’m eager to see what else is out there for me to learn. I’m doing things I’ve always wanted to do, but didn’t for whatever reason. I’m listening to what my soul says it needs, and I’m following that. I have no idea where it’ll lead, but I’m sure it’s going to be a fun ride!





“True healing is not the fixing of the broken, but the rediscovery of the unbroken…”

~ Jeff Foster

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  1. Tracy Perez on May 6, 2021 at 10:32 am

    Donna, your May self-care read was déjà vu for me. Fifteen years ago I was in a very similar place to what you have experienced. I had been married for seven years but we had been together for over 11. My life exploded when I found out my husband was seeing someone else. Not only did I file for divorce (which was now my second) but I found out I had cancer on the same day. So between the divorce, cancer and raising a five year old on my own, I thought I found the deepest, darkest hole I was falling into. Unbeknownst to me, two years later I found the most amazing man that not only loved my daughter and I unconditionally, he in what you describe as third love, was a miracle for me. I know the pain you have gone through and sympathize with what you have had to deal with. I can tell you that when you least expect it, that third love will come into your life and it will be all worth the pain in the past to find a future full of love and contentment. Even to this day, I wake up next to the love of my life and am thankful for everything we have.

    Life works in mysterious way and we question it on a daily basis. I hope and pray all your dreams will come true.

    Thank you for all you bring to your readers. It means so much to the silent ones who share the same situations and feelings. In sharing your stories, you empower us to share ours and find that inner peace.

    • Donna on May 6, 2021 at 11:42 am

      I love that you’ve found your HEA! Thank you so much for sharing.

  2. Cheryl on May 13, 2021 at 12:10 pm

    You are a very strong woman, just like the one’s you write about. Take some down time and recharge.

    • Donna on May 13, 2021 at 3:38 pm


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