Self-Care Journey Month 20



Do you know the difference between self-care and self-love? There are many who think they are one and the same.

During my road of finding myself again, I listened to a podcast that said we can give ourselves all the self-care that we want, but that isn’t self-love. I was so taken aback that I rewound the video and played it again. I was shocked that I, like many, considered them one and the same. I’ve been doing almost two years worth of self-care (okay, not as much every month as I should, but I do fill up my tank, so to speak.) Yet, as I listened to this recording, I was reminded that self-love is important—if not the most important thing we can do.

What the presenter had us to was stand in front of a mirror, look ourselves in the eye, and tell ourselves that we’re sorry for saying negative things about our bodies/hair/etc. Then we had to forgive ourselves for such talk. The final thing was that we continued looking in the mirror and told ourselves the things we were grateful for about ourselves and our body. It was an emotional, moving experience.

Like most women, I’ve always wished to be taller, thinner, have slimmer thighs, have better skin, be prettier, and the list goes on and on. For years and years and years. That kind of negative talk takes a toll on someone if we were telling them that every day—multiple times a day. That’s what we’ve been doing to ourselves. My self-care this month was showing myself love. For all of my “flaws” I think I have. I’ve been practicing this every day. Each time I think, “Ugh. I wish I was taller,” or “My hair drives me crazy,” or “I look horrible in these clothes,” I stop myself. I then spend the next few minutes going over everything that I love about myself. It’s made a difference. The sad part is that so many of us are conditioned to think we have to look like everyone on the computer, magazines, or movie posters that we forget most they’re altered digitally.

I love celebrities who are showing their original pictures and the altered ones to show the public what’s going on. They don’t get to make the choice of if their pictures get digitally altered. Others do, and it has made an impact on our lives. At least it has with mine. I’m changing my mindset about how I look and feel about myself. Everyone has amazing qualities. We tend to forget those when we think we have to look like someone else. Why should we want to? We’re unique individuals. There’s no one out there like us. We should be shouting that shit every day. Embrace your uniqueness. Love it wholly. Because no one will love you unconditionally like you do.

Friends will come and go. Significant others will come and go. Family will come and go. We remain for ourselves. We should be the ones who love ourselves deeper and truer than anyone else, because we’ll always be there for ourselves.

Self-care keeps us going for those who need us.

Self-love keeps us going for us.

On that note, here’s a song that’s perfect for the month!




“And I said to my body, softly, “I want to be your friend.” It took a long breath and replied, “I have been waiting my whole life for this.”

~ Nayyirah Waheed

Share this:


  1. Tammie Rienzi on September 6, 2021 at 9:09 pm

    So powerful. With a history of eating disorders, I can tell you that the mirror exercise is life changing. Even all these years later, still unbelievably challenging. Thank you for your courage in sharing.

    • Donna on September 8, 2021 at 10:28 am

      Thank you!

  2. Donna Barr on September 7, 2021 at 10:32 am

    Thank you. I am showing this to my 12 year old daughter who has self image issues. She needs to know she is not alone and hopefully she can start to adjust her thoughts – acknowledging that she is unique and she shouldn’t compare herself with those she sees on the Internet.

    • Donna on September 8, 2021 at 10:29 am

      I hope this helps her!

  3. Elida on September 7, 2021 at 10:35 am

    Thank you for sharing this with us. As a 67 year “young” woman, I can tell you about growth and life changes; friends and family who have come and gone; loves who have come and gone, etc. I look in the mirror and sometimes I see the child that I was and often peeks out. I see the hopes and dreams of that young girl. I see the smiles and disappointments of a more mature woman also. My hair is whiter, my hair is thinner, my body is NOT the same one I had in my 20’s. But I have realized that all my choices have led me to THIS woman– the one I look in the mirror TODAY. Do I have regrets.. YES. Do I need to dwell on them and think of what could have been? I am making a choice every day to NOT dwell on regrets. Waste of time. I am practicing self-care and better choices– and thank you for pointing out NOT to forget self-love. Sending HUGS. Walk softly on this path you are on, Ms. Grant.

    • Donna on September 8, 2021 at 10:30 am

      Love your reply so much! Thank you!

  4. Jennifer on September 7, 2021 at 12:00 pm

    I love this. I really really need to do this everyday. All I ever do is focus on my weight and how I look. Since I was young, I always wanted to be prettier, thiner, and smarter. I was someone always comparing myself to my friends, and others I would see. I have come to accept more of myself as I’ve gotten older, but many of the things I don’t like about myself remain. I will definitely be giving this a try. Thank you Donna!

    • Donna on September 8, 2021 at 10:32 am

      Try to focus on the things that you love about yourself. 🙂

  5. Violet Nielsen on September 7, 2021 at 1:00 pm

    Thank you for sharing, I’m looking for a good podcast that would be a good fit for a 56 year old pre menopausal wife, mother or 3 young adults, mom to an 11 year old dog and a 4 year old cat and grandmother. My husband and I are selling our house now and plan to move to Costa Rica with the dog and cat. No worries I have my kindle so I should be able to get all you need books!!! If not then I just won’t go to CR😉🤣

    Can you share the name of the podcast so I can check it out. I would really appreciate it. With all that is going on I really need to spend some quality time with getting to know myself.

    • Donna on September 8, 2021 at 10:31 am

      The podcast was included with my subscription to Every full and new moon, there is tarot readings and some special. Last month it was the podcast. Check out the website. It’s an amazing source for those looking to dig a little deeper into life.

Leave a Comment